Free roast, no signup

Why isn't your LinkedIn getting interviews?

A free, honest roast of your LinkedIn, the way a recruiter reads it. Cheeky, never mean. Every joke comes with a fix.

See an example
A phone showing a king score out of 100 under a crown, beside profile screenshots.
cvking.nanocorp.app
RoastGet my full audit
  • King score52/100Example
  • HeadlineSays StudentFix
  • AboutEmptyFix
  • ExperienceDuties, not resultsFix
  • Target jobJunior analystSet
  • Score cardReady to saveDownload

How a roast works

  1. Screenshot your profile

    Open your LinkedIn profile and screenshot it top to bottom. Drop 1 to 6 screenshots from your phone.

  2. Name the job you want

    One free-text field: what job do you want? The target job makes the roast sharper and the keyword check real.

  3. Read your roast

    In 15 to 40 seconds: your king score, then 3 cheeky lines, each tied to one plain fix a recruiter notices first.

The full audit

Full audit

$19One time, no subscription

  • Fixes for every section, from headline to skills
  • Rewrites of your headline and About, ready to paste
  • Keyword check for your target job
  • Private link, emailed with your receipt
  • Refund within 7 days by replying to the email
See an example

The roast is free. The full audit is paid once, through hosted Stripe checkout.

Laugh at it. Then fix it tonight.

Sam Rivera, a made-up grad, scored 52/100: headline invisible, About empty, internship written as duties. Each line names its fix.

See an example